Q&A: Praying for no Polygamy

Question

Can I pray to Allah; not to put me in polygamy?

Answer

Allah responds to all our du'as, provided they are done righteously. Therefore, one should pray for the right thing, and for the right reason.

Polygamy is allowed in Islam (as well as in all monotheistic religions), for a purpose. Only Allah knows best the extent of that purpose. It doesn't, however, take us much to realize some of the benefits of polygamy, in the Muslim society, when it's practised righteously.

Polygamy is neither a crime, nor it is a calamity. Otherwise, Allah would have not allowed it, for those who fulfill certain requirements. If it was a bad thing to do, The Prophet Muhammad, salla Allahu ‘alaihi wasallam, who is our ultimate role model, would have not practised it. If polygamy was a bad thing to do, the other great Prophets of Allah would have not practised it.

The ruling of polygamy in Islam, is that it's optional for those who fulfil some given requirements. Therefore, you have the option, to or not to go for it.

Due to personal preferences, one may not be in favour of polygamy. But that doesn't mean he should go against it, or hold it in contempt, to the extent of seeking refuge from it. We only seek refuge in Allah from bad things. By seeking refuge from polygamy, we are seeking refuge from something Allah has made permissible. Do we know better, or Allah does?

At the time that one may not be in favour of polygamy, his or her happiness may be destined in polygamy. Allah says in Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:216:

وَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ، وَعَسَىٰ أَن تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَّكُمْ، وَاللَّـهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ

It means, ” You may dislike something although it is good for you, or like something although it is bad for you: Allah knows but you do not.”

The right thing to do, instead of seeking refuge in Allah from polygamy, is to always ask Him to grant you a spouse who will assist you righteously, in your pursuit for the Ultimate Pleasere of Allah in this life and in the Hereafter.

On that basis, if it's destined for one to attain happiness in this life, and Allah's Pleasure in the Hereafter, through polygamy, you won't be the first to get happiness through polygamy. And you are going to celebrate it, just like our mother, Ummu Salamah, radhiya Allahu ‘anhu, found the best of her happiness when she became the wife of the Prophet, after she thought she couldn't find any life, better than that she spent with her late husband, Abu Salamah, radhiya Allahu ‘anhu.

If someone (a man) proposes to you, to be his second, third or fourth wife, it's always the best to do Istikharah. Doing Istikharah here is not to determine whether, or not, it's good for one to go for polygamy. It's rather to determine, whether, or not, the person proposing to you, is the right person to be in your marriage life.

Similar to not praying to Allah to exclude us from polygamy, one should not pray to Allah not grant him children; but rather the contrary. One should not pray for himself; not to get married. He should not pray not to be enabled to carrying out extra righteous deeds, on top of the obligatory.

Click here to read my article: Let's Talk about Polygamy.

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Allah knows best.