Reflections From The Qurʾān (1): The True Meaning Of Love in Marriage

Alhamdulillah… All praise and thanks are due to the Almighty Allah. I send peace and blessings upon Ḥabībī Muḥammad, his household, his companions and all those who follow his guided path, till the Day of Judgement.

This article comes as the first of 10 parts of ‘Reflections from the Qur'an’ series, which will be posted here on GSalam.Net, every Friday, Saturday and Sunday, throughout the holy month of Ramaḍān 2014. I pray that Allah grants us more understanding to His book and religion. If you find it useful, kindly share it with your loved ones, and be part of the #Share_the_Khair.

In Sūrah al-Rūm, 30:21, Allah subḥānahū wa taʾālā gives a descriptive meaning of the love that bonds every marriage couple together in a happy marriage life. He says:

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً، إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

“Another of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves spouses, so that you might find tranquility in them, and He created between you affection and mercy. Truly there are signs in this for people who reflect.”

The verse talks about the nature of marriage being one of Allah’s sign for us reflect. Undoubtedly, when we talk about marriage, the first thought that comes in mind is ‘Love.’ However, the verse refuses to mention “love.” Instead, it mentions ‘mawaddah’ and ‘raḥmah.’ which mean ‘affection' and ‘mercy’ respectively. Affection and mercy combined imply compassion.

Compassion is deeper than Love in its meaning and implication. It's purer and more impactful. It comes with love and sacrifice. It carries selflessness, tolerance, kindness, forgiveness, and generosity.

Naturally, each one of us can love effortlessly. But only a few among us are able to show compassion in marriage. Unfortunately, because we live a time of egoism and selfishness, married couples expect love from each other when they fail to, first, show compassion to each other. As a result, divorce rate is on the rise, in all Muslim communities.

Marriage, on the other hand, is divinely made to take place between two opposite genders. A simple thought back to how our mother, Hawwāʾ (Eve) was created from the rib of our father, Adam, tells us that every marriage requires a pair of individuals from the opposite genders.

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالًا كَثِيرًا وَنِسَاءً

“O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it, its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women.” [Sūrah al-Nisāʾ, 4:1].

Clearly, only men and women were created and reproduced from Adam and Hawwāʾ, the couple who were made up of a male and a female.

وَمَن يَعْمَلْ مِنَ الصَّالِحَاتِ مِن ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنثَىٰ وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ فَأُولَـٰئِكَ يَدْخُلُونَ الْجَنَّةَ وَلَا يُظْلَمُونَ نَقِيرًا

“Anyone who performs good deeds, whether it be a man or woman, provided that he is a believer, shall enter Paradise. No one shall suffer the least injustice.” [Surah Al-Nisa, 4:124].

True happiness is attained in the marriage in which both of the parties involved show compassion before they expect love from each other. This compassion can only be achieved in the marriage, which takes place the way it’s naturally done; between a male and a female, not between same genders.

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Allah knows best.
Allāhu Ḥāfiẓ 🙂