Alhamdulillah… Infinite praise and thanks are due to the Almighty Allah. The best of Judges. Complete blessings and salutations go to the best of judges among humans, Sayyidinā Muhammad, his household, his companions, and all those who follow his guided path till the end of time.
One of the most difficult emotions anyone would have to deal with is being judged. That is to be mistaken for the devil he’s not, for the crime he didn’t commit, or for the evil he intends not. It can be devastating, demoralizing and disappointing.
However, we are human beings. Sometimes we do the right things. And some other times we commit wrongdoings. Either way, it affects those around us.
Furthermore, just like one may save a life without realizing it, it happens that one can take a life without intending it. In other words, we can’t always see our correctness or wrongness with our own eyes. But with others’ eyes, we’re likely to see our behaviours from most, if not all, possible perspectives.
Therefore, it’s important to consider and appreciate how people around us react to our behaviours; the good and the otherwise, as long as they don’t manipulate our intentions or try to take ownership of our choices and personal decisions.
Judge the Book by Its Cover
Publishers no longer bundle books of great content with unattractive covers. That’s a matter of the past. Today, the more confident a publisher is about the content of his book, the more attractive he ensures the cover looks. So, it’s time we admit; that the book is judged by its cover. Whether we do it consciously or subconsciously, openly or secretly, that’s not relevant.
Furthermore, a book with a hardcover is priced higher than a book of the same content but with a paperback. Isn’t it? Why? Because one has the tendency of lasting longer than the other. In fact, one is more protected and more presentable (in the event you choose to gift it) than the other. Man, judge the book by its cover!
Sometimes, if not all the time, when you do good, you get praised for it. Admit it; you feel good when you’re praised for a good you’ve done. Don’t you? When your child impresses you with his good behaviour, performance or skills, you pat him on the shoulder. Your child feels elevated and motivated for the fatherly or motherly pat, and he must, possibly, be looking forward to impressing you more in the future. Isn’t it? Neither you nor your child, in the above situations, claim to have been judged. And yes, you were not judged. You were just being praised and appreciated.
In other (blunt) words, when someone does a good thing and gets praised for it, he goes like “o yeah! I did it, you know.” However, when he commits an obvious wrongdoing and gets advised about it, he goes like, “why should you judge me?” “who are you to judge me?” and “don’t be judgmental.” Worst still, one maybe be caught red-handed, in a shameful act, and yet, he still has the guts to tell you, “don’t judge the book by its cover.” No, you’re not being judged. You’ve just been advised, corrected or guided. That’s all.
The attitude of one claiming to have been judged, whenever he does wrong and gets advised, is problematic for some reasons.
#1: Claiming to Have Being Judged is Judgemental
One can’t reach to the conclusion that someone has judged him until he has judged the “judge” (the party he’s accusing for being judgemental).
Just as you think he has judged your intention, you also have judged his intention. Yes… it’s possible that he might have judged your intention, however, that remains an assumption without proof. But the fact that you’ve accused him of judging you proves that you’ve judged his intention. Think about it.
The truth is, no one cares about our intentions when we carry out a behaviour. But that behaviour impacts and affects others around us. And they react to the behaviour, not to the intention. Thus, it’s better that we take some time to reflect on the implications of our wrong behaviours, and correct them when necessary, instead of taking things personal.
#2: Rejecting the Truth Speaks a Volume
There’re two possible scenarios when one commits a perceived wrongdoing and is offered a piece of advice. It could be either that he has really committed the wrongdoing deliberately or he committed it as a result of human weakness. If he’s committed it as a result of human weakness–and who among us don’t do that?–then it’s never too late to apologize–and repent where relevant, and move on.
If, however, he was deliberate about it, and yet he gets the guts to defy, then he’s rejecting the truth. And rejecting the truth speaks a volume. The least is that it reflects arrogance.
This is exactly what the Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam warns us against when he says in the ḥadīth reported by Imām Muslim from the narration of Sayyidunā ‘Abdullāh ibn Mas’ūd raḍiya Allāhu ‘anhu,
“لا يَدْخُلِ الجَنَّةَ مَنْ كَانَ فِي قَلْبِهِ مِثْقَالُ ذَرَّةٍ مِنْ كِبْرٍ.” فَقَالَ رَجُلٌ: إِنَّ الرَّجُلَ يُحِبُّ أَنْ يَكُونَ ثَوْبُهُ حَسَنًا، وَنَعْلُهُ حَسَنَةً. فَقَالَ: “إِنَّ اللهَ جَمِيلٌ يُحِبُّ الجَمَالَ، الكِبْرُ بَطَرُ الحَقِّ، وَغَمْطُ النَّاسِ.”
“The haughty, even with pride equal to a mustard seed in his heart, will not enter Jannah.” A man enquired: “What about that a person likes fine dress and fine shoes?” He said: “Allah is Beautiful and likes beauty. Arrogance amounts to rejecting truth, and despising people.”
#3: It Could Be Just Being a Copycat
The other possible reason is that, he could be repeating what he’s been constantly hearing others repeat (“why should you judge me?” “who are you to judge me?” and “don’t be judgmental.”) And he’s also repeating it without seeking to know it’s meaning and implications.
Being a copycat is problematic on its own. If not for anything, it’s for the fact that the person doesn’t have an independent personality of his own. He doesn’t make choices for himself. Everything he does or chooses has to be directly influenced by someone close or far. In a ḥadīth reported by Imām al-Tirmidhī, The Prophet, ṣallā Allāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam says:
لا تَكُونُوا إِمَّعَةً؛ تَقُولُونَ: إِنْ أَحْسَنَ النَّاسُ أَحْسَنَّا، وَإِنْ ظَلَمُوا ظَلَمْنَا. وَلَكِنْ وَطِّنُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ؛ إِنْ أَحْسَنَ النَّاسُ أَنْ تُحْسِنُوا، وَإِنْ أَسَاءُوا فَلا تَظْلِمُوا
“Don’t be a blind followers, who say, “If people do good, we too would do good. And if they oppress, we too would oppress.” Instead, free your selves; when people do good, so should you, and when they do bad, you should avoid their bad deeds.”
So, before one claims to have been judged, it’s wise he ensures he’s not proven to be judgemental himself, and/or he’s not been arrogant by rejecting the truth. He should also ensure he’s aware of the implication of his utterances.
Social Justice Prevails
As long as one chooses to live in the society and interact with fellow humans, then people will develop perceptions towards him. They will be right sometimes, and they will be left (I mean wrong 🙂 ) some other times. Their correctness and wrongness in the perceptions they develop about you doesn’t mean you’re doing a right thing or a wrong thing. It’s just a meaning they make from your actions and behaviours. In the end, the truest and the most accurate judgement you’ll receive will come from Him, alone. This is where your intentions and sincerity come in, to your rescue.
Think About the Following
If you go to the mosque regularly, people may perceive you as a pious person (even without dealing with you in dollars and cents). They may be right, and they may be left…. I mean wrong. If you hang out with the rich and behave like a rich person and drive a fancy car, people will perceive you as rich. They may be right. They may also be left. If you buy the newspapers every day, you’ll be perceived as someone who reads and is informed about current issues (even without talking to you). They may be right. And they also may be left.
You see, this is how people react to behaviour.
Likewise, if you hang out with known criminals (and you’re not a known counsellor or rehabilitation service provider), then people will perceive you as a criminal. They may be right. They may be left.
At the workplace, if you, a male colleague, only prefer talking to the opposite gender, and avoid your male colleagues during lunchtime, it has an implication. Likewise, if you’re a female, and you always prefer chit-chatting with your male colleagues and mostly avoid your female colleagues, it has an implication. In both situations, even if people do not wrongly judge you, psychology will have a name to call you. And so will sociology. And, lo and behold, you have a name in a religious context as well.
Even Facebook, Twitter and Google Judge You
If you’re reading this, you’re most probably present on the Internet, and you’re likely active on social media. Regardless of how short you’ve been using these platforms, the algorithms used on these platforms will always push to you (on your newsfeed and your search results) only articles (and posts) as well as adverts that they believe will interest you.
Search for a GoPro Hero 6 on your internet browser using your mobile, and the next moment, you’ll start seeing all sorts of ads related to GoPro Hero 6 on your Facebook newsfeed, your Twitter wall and your Instagram page, even when surfing on your laptop or desktop. You may even receive an ad email in your Gmail inbox. You may not have the intention to purchase a Hero 6, but the Internet has judged you for your user behaviour.
Man, even Facebook, Twitter and the Internet are judging you based on your behaviour!
Conclusion
Naturally, people emulate others’ good deeds. Likewise, they emulate their bad deeds. This is why role models exist. For all you know, you’re someone’s role model, and he’s been emulating many of your behaviours. Even without your knowledge. This is to say, if you will be pleased by someone, somewhere, emulating your good behaviours, then you should be worried that the same person might have been emulating your negative behaviours. In a ḥadīth reported by Imām Muslim from the narration of Sayyidunā Abū Hurayrah raḍiya Allāhu ‘anhu, Rasūlullāh ṣallā Allāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam says:
مَنْ دَعَا إِلَى هُدًى، كَانَ لَهُ مِنَ الأَجْرِ مَثْلُ أُجُورِ مَنْ تَبِعَهُ؛ لا يَنْقُصُ ذَلِكَ مِنْ أُجُورِهِمْ شَيْئاً. وَمَنْ دَعَا إِلَى ضَلالَةٍ، كَانَ عَلَيْهِ مِنَ الإِثْمِ مِثْلُ آثَامِ مَنْ تَبِعَهُ؛ لا يَنْقُصُ ذَلِكَ مِنْ آثَامِهِمْ شَيْئاً
“Whoever calls to guidance (righteousness), will be rewarded, similarly to the rewards of those who follow him, without any of their rewards been reduced. And whoever calls to deviation, will carry sins, similar to the sins of all those who act upon it (the deviation), without their sins been reduced.”
If you really care about what people say, and you care or are bothered about being corrected or advised, and you don’t want to be perceived negatively, change your environment, friends, the way you dress and your conduct, and people’s perception will change accordingly. Because it’s time we admit to judging the book by its cover.
Furthermore, people will come to your funeral intercede for you, based on what they know you through your actions, not based on what’s in your heart.
Disclaimer:
Prior to this article, I have written another article relating to judging. It discusses how in the name of not judging others, we unintentionally encourage evil. You may want to give it a check here.
To receive updates from GSalam.Net delivered right to your inbox, click here. I will be glad if you join the discussion on Facebook.
Allah knows best.
Allahu Hafiz 🙂
Be the first to comment on "Judge The Book By Its Cover: 3 Realities to Consider When Claiming Being Judged"