May Allah bestow His Rahmah on you, Akhi, Saifullah

Abdul-Rauf and Me, 2010. That was the last time we were together.

Alhamdulillah; all praises are due to Allah. All thanks are for Allah. All good belong to Allah. All affairs will be brought back to Allah; We seek His forgiveness and to Him we repent. May His Peace and Blessings be upon Habibi Muhammad, his family members and all his companions, at all times.

It was Azan for Fajr prayers, this morning, Monday, 2 April, 2012 (0549, Singapore time), when I set my left leg outside the house, to go to the mosque for Subh prayers, and thereafter to work, when my phone rang; it was my dad. It was an expected unexpected call. ‘What’s up’, Dad? He tried his best to calm me down, but all he could say was, ‘Allah has made His decision. He has called your brother, who on his part, responded to the call of his Lord’. Innilillah wainna ilaihi raaji’oun! Abdul-Rauf is no longer (with us)!

I lived my whole life, so far, without hearing (seeing) my father shedding tears. Although I'm yet to see that, but I heard him barely able to say anything, over the phone, when breaking the news of my brother's passing to me, I then realized he was in tears. That moment reminded me of what I already knew; the special love both Ummi and Abi have for Saifullah.

Ummi and Abi, losing two children in their childhood is painful, but losing a child after upbringing him righteously to the age of 22 years is certainly more painful. But, both of you amazed me with the level of patience of contentment with which you received the passing of Abdul-Rauf.

Ummi and Abi, I've to admit; it's going to be difficult for us to fill the gap left in your kind hearts by Abdul-Rauf. Even, if we try to do so, he'll still be leading us… He's ahead of us; he's gone to be by Allah's side… He's gone to be in the company of Rasulullah, s.a.w. That itself is a privilege!

Akhi, I know, deep in my heart that, the tears that mother and father shed is not because of your passing. It’s rather more of to follow the path of Habibi Rasulullah, s.a.w. in similar situations. Rasulullah himself shed his tears (out of Rahmah) when his son Ibrahim a.s., was chosen back, by Allah, s.w.t.

Do you know why you were loved most my Ummi and Abi? It was when you changed your mind suddenly that you wanted to complete memorizing the Qur’an, and thereafter do Islamic studies instead of joining the army, as you always aspired to. The strange thing is that, no one expected you to take your studies seriously, until you surprized everybody; by going to Senior High School (SSS) until you were about to graduate. This is simply because we knew you to be too playful and easy to mix around with anybody, at the expense of serious matters.

Your passing is not sad news as much as it is joyous and good news. This is because, no matter how we love you, you have gone; in response to the call of the One Who loves you more than anyone else does. You’ve gone to be in the company of Rasulullah. Also, we highly hope that Allah will grant you an honour, with the Qur’an you have in your heart. You have gone to where you will never go through pains, any longer (insha Allah), whereby when you were in severe pains here in Dunia, and doctors couldn't help, we were all helpless, and barely could relief your pains.

Many are the times I imagined you; whenever I read the prophetic saying (Hadeeth):

سَبْعَةٌ يُظِلُّهُمُ اللهُ فِي ظِلِّهِ يَوْمَ لاَ ظِلَّ إِلا ظِلُّهُ، إِمَامٌ عَادِلٌ، وَشَابٌّ نَشَأَ فِي عِبَادَةِ اللهِ، وَرَجُلٌ قَلْبُهُ مُعَلَّقٌ بِالمَسَاجِدِ، وَرَجُلانِ تَحَابَّا فِي اللهِ؛ اجْتَمَعَا عَلَيْهِ وَتَفَرَّقَا عَلَيْهِ، وَرَجُلٌ دَعَتْهُ امْرَأَةٌ؛ ذَاتُ مَنْصِبٍ وَجَمَالٍ، فَقَالَ إِنِّي أَخَافُ اللهَ، وَرَجُلٌ تَصَدَّقَ بِصَدَقَةٍ، فَأَخْفَاهَا حَتَّى لاَ تَعْلَمَ شِمَالُهُ مَا تُنْفِقُ يَمِينُهُ، وَرَجُلٌ ذَكَرَ اللهَ خَالِياً فَفَاضَتْ عَيْنَاهُ

It means: “There are seven; whom Allah will shade with His shadow, on the day when there will be no shade, except His: the just ruler; a young man who grew up worshipping his Lord; a man whose heart is attached to the mosque; two men who love one another for the sake of Allah; they both met and parted on that basis; a man who is called by high ranked and beautiful woman, and he says: “I fear Allah”; a man who gives in charity and conceals it, to such an extent that his left hand does not know what his right hand gives; and a man who remembers Allah secretly, and his eyes fill up.”

Due to that, when I spoke to mum, I couldn't say ‘ta’ziah’ to her. Instead, I congratulated her, on your passing. And in fact, allow me to congratulate you, too, for the good ending.  Our hope therefore, is that Allah will honour you in the Akhirah, just as (or more) He honoured you in this Dunia.

We (your siblings) loved you, and shall love you forever, because you were the most loved by Ummi and Abi. In addition to that, you were exemplary and meant to be loved. Everyone loved you, Akhi. Even your enemies (assuming that you had any) loved you. The secret: You could easily cheer up anyone, and could easily connect with all.

Abdul-Rauf ̀ @ School

Yaa Akhi, I’m not writing these words to certify for you, in anyway; for in Islam, a brother’s witness (certification) for his brother is, by default, rejected. Rather, I’m writing these, to turn my tears into everlasting words. Everlasting words; that may generate du’as for your soul, just like your child would do for you, if you lived to make family of your own, and be blessed with children.

My tears may harm you more than it can help, but I’m certain that, these words will benefit you. A single ‘Ameen’ from an unexpected reader will be such a miraculous, and thus, precious. My tears will dry, naturally, but I have hope that the dua that will be done for you, as a result of this humble article will last eternally, insha Allah.

O Soul of ‘Mutmainnah’, return to your Lord, in well-pleased and pleasing [for Allah]; to enter the Jannah of your Lord and to be among the good servants of Allah.

Akhi, please extend our ‘salam' to Habibi Rasulullah, s.a.w… and to our grandfather, Abdul-Salam Ahmad.. and to all the late believers who you'll be meeting there, insha Allah.

Yaa Allah, if your servant Abdul-Rauf [Ibn] Abdul-Hameed has nothing to present before Your Majesty to entitle him for Your Paradise, a Drop of Your Rahmah encompasses everything you created, which includes Abdul-Rauf.

Yaa Allah, If Abdul-Rauf has nothing to present before Your Majesty, that may plead to You on his behalf, for your Mercy, please allow the Qur’anic verse, which he said, as he made his last breath, be able to intercede for him. He said:

عَسَىٰ رَبُّكُمْ أَن يُكَفِّرَ عَنكُمْ سَيِّئَاتِكُمْ

It means, “Your Lord may well forgive your bad deeds…”

Yaa Allah, please accept Abdul-Rauf among Your honoured and blessed servants: the messengers, the truthful, the witnesses, and the righteous. What excellent companions these are!

Yaa Allah… Please grant the same; to anyone, who reads this and says ‘Ameen’. Ameen

To You we belong, and to You shall we return.

Allahu Hafiz :’(