Introduction
Alhamdulillah; all praises are due to Allah. All Thanks are for Allah. All good are in the Good Hands of Allah. All affairs shall be returned to Allah. No god deserves to be worshiped but He. We seek His Forgiveness at all time, and to Him, alone, we repent. May His Peace and Blessings be upon Habibi Muhammad, his family members, his companions, and all those who follow his guided path.
This list post was supposed to be published after my previous article, A Few Secrets for a More Rewarding Ramadhan, but this year's Ramadhan (2012) has been very eventful and resulted that I had to publish four different articles prior to today's article. The four articles were:
- Purification of the Soul (Tazkiyatul-Nafs)
- GSalam.Net is Growing Online
- Let’s Spread Al-Kalimah Al-Tayyibah Online
- Book: How to Memorize the Qur’an in 10 Years, Regardless of Age and Profession
I find it necessary before, I can proceed, to express my gratitude to you, readers of GSalam.Net, for your constant patience, even when articles are published in an unexpected pace.
This list post outlines the general etiquettes (adaab), which most of us (starting with my humble self) tend to overlook in our visits, during Eid seasons.
Please feel free to create your own, or add some to those I’m presenting here. Either way, you may submit them in the comment area below, for others too, to benefit.
When We are the Host…
- We should make our guests feel comfortable.
- We should entertain our guests. They are here because of us.
- We should not overdo things. Be yourself!
- We should seek our guest’s permission first, before offering sweets (or gifts) to their kids.
- We shouldn't be offended if our host or guest says ‘no’ to any of our offer. “Think Positive.”
- We should only kiss kids when we are sure we have no flu, runny nose, or any infections, which we are aware of.
- We should send our guest(s) to the gate, when they are leaving.
- It will be wise to send them to their vehicle or the bus stop (if it’s not far), especially if the person is alone.
- Let them feel their visit is appreciated and looked forward to.
- It’s always best to “Speak only kind words, or to remain silent”.
When We are Hosted…
- We should make our visit for the Sake of Allah.
- It's wise to make an appointment in advance. So, we should avoid making instant appointments: We may plan our visit in advance.
- We should select the appropriate day for our visit.
- We should select the right time for our visit.
- After ‘Isya is not an appropriate time for visit, unless there’s an appointment in advance.
- We should not knock our host’s door ahead of the scheduled time. Instead, we should wait.
- We should not knock our host’s door later than the scheduled time (we must be punctual).
- We should knock the door gently (or ring the bell).
- We may offer our ‘salam' when it can be heard.
- We should value the time of our host. 30 minutes is just a moderate (more than enough) duration to spend at our host's place.
- We should be specific in our timing. Thus; we shouldn't use ‘After Asr’ or ‘After Zuhr’ in our schedule: Because 30 minutes “Before Maghrib” is part of “After Asr”. And 30 minutes “After Zuhr” is part of “Before Asr’. We've agreed to avoid visits “After Isha“, right?
- If we know we will be an hour late, it will be wise to postpone our visit.
- “It’s OK” doesn’t necessarily mean “You are warmly welcome”.
- We should watch our words when we are at our host's place.
- We should be responsible for our child[ren]’s behaviour. We can't discipline our children in public (other's place). “Discipline (character) begins at home.”
- We should be sensitive; if our host is reporting duty (working) the next day.
- If our host is not working the next day, it doesn’t mean they have plentiful time to waste.
- We should respect the privacy and territories of our host.
- We should not smoke in our host’s house, even if they say “It's OK!”
- We should accept any kind of food or drinks offered by your host, unless there is variety of choices. Or unless we are allergic to certain kinds of foods and drinks.
- We should make our host feel we like their offer: So make sure you take something, rather than leaving everything.
- Let's refrain from asking (“inviting”) our host to visit us. They will do so, at their time of convenience.
- We may take photos only after seeking the permission of our host. I mean their approval.
- We must seek our host’s permission first, before offering sweets (or gifts) to their kids.
- We shouldn't be offended if our host says ‘no’ to any of our offer. “Think positive.”
- It’ll be wise to postpone our visit if we are suffering from flu, runny nose or any sickness. This is even more necessary, if our host has child[ren].
- We should go offline while at our host’s place. So to say; we should avoid from being engaged with our mobile phones.
- It won't be nice to play with the belongings of our host.
- It’s not wise to use their phone. If the need really be, then it should be desperately.
Things we Should Avoid by All Means
- Have you heard of the guest who spent 12 hours at his host’s place (1300 – 0100)? It happens! Never join this club!
- Do you know the one who knocks others’ door after 2300hrs to visit them? Don’t be the one!
Conclusion
Different countries and cultures have different ways of celebrating Eid. What I've outlined here is an attempt to indicate what are common, wherever one goes.
What are the adaab you have listed in your own list to observe, in this year's Eid and hoping to apply in subsequent Eids? Please share with us, by commenting below.
I would appreciate it, if you could kindly share this article with your loved ones. A click on the LIKE and SHARE buttons will help spread the good word (Al-Kalimah Al-Tayyibah).
Thanks for reading this. Please let me know if you think of any topic you would like me to write about, in this blog.
Finally, may I seize the opportunity to say, “Eid Mubarak to you and your loved one”.
Allahu Hafiz 🙂
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