One of My 2014 Goals: Utter Good or Remain Silent

Outline

Introduction

Alhamdulillah… All thanks and praises are due to the Almighty Allah. May His Peace and Blessings be upon Habibi Muhammad, his household, his companions, and upon all those who follow his righteous path, till the Day of Judgement.

It’s 2014. Everyone has set a goal or more, and is determined to achieving them, depending on his or her objectives and priorities in life. I, too, have set some, and I'm determined to achieving them, insha Allah. In this article, I'm sharing with you one of them.

At the end of this article, I however welcome your feedback, comments and suggestions.

Before we start discussing our subject matter, I would like to clarify one thing, which I guess some people may ask; should our targets be set based on the Hijri or the Gregorian calendar?

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Why 2014 and not 1435?

It’s true; the calendar for Muslims is the Hijri Calendar. Practically, we refer to it during our preparations for Ramadhan, Hajj, Mawlid, and the beginnings of Islamic years. Some committed Muslims base on it, to keep track of the 3-day-fastings which we are encouraged to uphold (as Sunnah) in the mid (13th 14th and 15th) of every lunar month. Some (Muslim) academics refer to it to recall Islamic historical events, that have happened in the past, such as the Battle of Badr, Uhud, the event of Israa and Mi’raaj, Nuzul-Qur’an, Sulhul (the treaty of) Hudaibiyah, Fathu (opening of) Makkah, etc.

The truth is, we base on lunar months to calculate all that, but that’s not necessarily the Hjiri calendar. The Hijri calendar didn’t exist during the happenings of the major Islamic historical events. There wasn’t a Hijri calendar during Isra and Miraj, Battle of Badr, Uhud, Fathu (the opening of ) Makkah, etc. It was during Sayyidina Umar’s regime, that the Hijri calendar was first introduced.

In our technical and practical life, our school enrolments are based on the Gregorian calendar, and so are the enrolments of our kids. Our bank statements are issued based on it. Our birthdates states 19++. Our passports expire in 20++. I remember; my marriage anniversary dates back to 2004 (that’s what’s written in the marriage certificate, issued in Syria), and the list goes on. In simple words, most of us can recall January to December effortlessly. For those of us who can remember the names of the lunar months (which is used Islamically) in Arabic, we have to use our fingers to match Jumadal-Ulaa to 5, and Rajab to 7, unlike May and July.

Here, I’m not discouraging anyone from adopting or calling for the adoption of the Hijri calendar. I rather find it important to justify; that using the Gregorian 2014, is for convenience and administrative sake, and it has no religious motivation. The most important, in my humble opinion, is to achieve the targeted goal, with or without calendars, insha Allah.

So, in no circumstance, do I celebrate the “New Year” or urge anyone to. I also do not, nor urge anyone to conduct a special prayer session to bid farewell to a previous year and welcome a new year. Celebrations tied to our religion must be prescribed by the legislation of Allah’s Book and the authority of His Prophet, salla Allahu ‘alaihi wasallam.

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How the Idea Emerged

There are many goals we dream and plan to achieve. Some of them are material, some are spiritual, some can be social, and others can be emotional. In fact, some are combination of all or some of the above. As I thought through my 2014 goals, one Hadeeth of the Prophet, salla Allahu ‘alaihi wasallam, stroke my mind, and it has since, been ringing in my head.

The Hadeeth was narrated by Sayyidina Abu Hurairah, radhiya Allah ‘anhu, and authenticated by Imam(s) Al-Bukhari and Muslim. In it, the Prophet, salla Allahu ‘alaihi wasallam says:

مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَاليَوْمِ الآخِرِ، فَلْيَقُلْ خَيْراً أَوْ لِيَصْمُتْ

It means, “Whoever believes in Allah and Last Day, should utter that, which is good, or he should remain silent.”

The Prophet, salla Allahu ‘alaihi wasallam, conveyed this teaching 1400 years ago, and it's set to remain valid till the Day of Judgement. In addition to precious social values, the Hadeeth also teaches us Hikmah (wisdom).

Utterance of good generates more goodness for the one who utters it. Remaining silent or refraining from saying anything bad also generates goodness for the believer. This means, there’s no way a Muslim loses when he chooses to apply the noble teachings of the Prophet, salla Allahu ‘alaihi wasallam, which was presented in these simple words.

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The Importance of the Goal

The importance of this goal lies in a few points.

Allah has ordered us to embrace whatever the Prophet gives us, and to refrain from whatever he forbids us.

وَمَا آتَاكُمُ الرَّسُولُ فَخُذُوهُ وَمَا نَهَاكُمْ عَنْهُ فَانتَهُوا

It means, “Whatever the Messenger gives you, take it; and whatever he forbids you, abstain from it.” [Surah Al-Hashr, 59:7]

We also know that when we talk about the Prophet, we are talking about the only human, whom we are obliged to follow blindly. Thus, through following him, we attain Allah’s Love and Pleasure.

قُلْ إِن كُنتُمْ تُحِبُّونَ اللَّـهَ فَاتَّبِعُونِي يُحْبِبْكُمُ اللَّـهُ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ

It mean, “Say (O Muhammad!), “If you love Allah, follow me and Allah will love you and forgive you your sins.” [Surah Aali Imran, 3:31]

In addition to that, we are certain, that the Prophet does not call us to any action, unless in it is our salvation. He is the most caring about us, and he grieved his whole life for our struggle and losses.

لَقَدْ جَاءَكُمْ رَسُولٌ مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ عَزِيزٌ عَلَيْهِ مَا عَنِتُّمْ حَرِيصٌ عَلَيْكُم بِالْمُؤْمِنِينَ رَءُوفٌ رَّحِيمٌ

It means, “There has come to you a Messenger of your own. Your suffering distresses him: he is deeply concerned for your welfare and full of kindness and mercy towards the believers.” [Surah Al-Taubah, 9:128]

It’s therefore an honour for us, to honour the teaching of the Prophet, salla Allahu ‘alaihi wasallam, to the possible extent of our capacity.

Practically, measuring ones words is a noble character. This is regardless of whether the person is a Muslim or a non-Muslim. It’s also regardless of whether or not the person is learned. This is where the saying “Silence is gold” becomes true.

From personal experience, through GSalam.Net, I have to make a public acknowledgement here, that I’ve developed many good characters, as a result of writing and publishing them here. The values I enjoin others automatically embed in me, and I see myself practising them. This is to say, although this goal is not easily achieved, I’m pretty hopeful in attaining it, insha Allah.

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The Good We Should Utter and the Silence We Should Embrace

Uttering that which is good may be mistakenly misunderstood to be only nice words. It rather depends on the situation, and the circumstances surrounding each issue or occurrence. Anything that one may utter, and causes break-ups between families and between friends, does not deserve to be uttered.

A Muslim is obliged to saying the truth at all times. He should say the truth, if the truth will lead to elevate somebody’s life and bring goodness to him. He should not refrain from saying the truth, if that will prevent someone from being victimized or discriminated.

This becomes more crucial when it involves others feelings and our social interactions with them.

What applies to the utterance of the truth and good words is applicable to silence. There’s no goodness is silence when we are certain that someone will be victimized, or lose his right or even life, as a result of our silence.

Also, when we choose to remain silent, it should mean that we have chosen to forgive and forget. If we choose silence despite the feeling of offence, it means that patience should have triggered that silence. Thus, in no circumstance do we accumulate our feelings of offence to take revenge, come ‘one fine day’.

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How to Achieve the Goal

There are a few things one can consider, as procedures, to achieve such a target. The truth is, we are planning to put the tongue at a difficult position. Lots of determination is therefore required. It's not likely going to be easy. However, nobility and good qualities are attained the difficult way.

Before I list down what we can do to practically achieve such a goal, it's important to bear in mind, that it requires our daily observation. This is so long as we speak, communicate, make judgements, share ideas, socialize, and so long as we are connected with other people.

Among other things we can do are:

• Let’s constant pray to Allah to safeguard us. We can pray to Him to purify our hearts. Our plans alone will take us nowhere, without Allah.
• Let’s start to look at things from its’ possible positive angles, especially when it involves others. We should try to look at the positive parts of others and refrain form finding their faults beforehand.
• Let’s seek refuge in Allah, whenever the devil tries to trigger evil thoughts in our minds. It starts with thoughts. So one should rephrase the negative thoughts (inspired by the Devil) with positive ones.
• If the need be, and you have to speak your mind, do so, right in front of the relevant party, and end the case, by not speaking behind him. This is going to be the most challenging. But I have high hope in you and in myself; we can do it!
• Let’s learn to stop putting blame on others, for any mistakes, failure, and misfortunes. Once we are involved in a project or a team, then we are responsible of its failure, likewise its success.
• Online life has emerged to become part of daily life. Therefore, one should behave online righteously, as he would offline. One shouldn’t handle the person on the other side of his screen, the way he can’t do in physical interaction.
• We must start to learn to verify what we share on our social network sites (SNS) accounts. This is because once we share any thing; we bear our share of its righteousness or sinfulness and accountability.
• We should also learn to mind our own business. The Prophet has also emphasized on this part in another Hadeeth.

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The Possible Outcome in One’s Life

If one successfully develops this character, and embraces it habitually, he should be able to notice the following, among other things, in himself and in his attitude:

• He will be living the noble teaching of the Noble Prophet, salla Allahu ‘alaihi wasallam. The ability to controlling one's tongue is a great achievement; not many are able to attain.
• He will be blessed with a clean and pure heart, so long as he continues to embrace this virture. ‘Good Bye!' to unnecessary heartaches.
• He will enjoy good sleeps, insha Allah. I’m certain about this.
• He'll be a more productive Muslim. His time will be spent meaningfully, and his thoughts will be focused.
• He will have no (specific) enemies. How can you see someone as your enemy if you don't have bad thoughts about him?
• He will meet Allah with fewer burdens. A possible indication in free entry into the Jannah, insha Allah.

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Exceptions to the Rule

The exceptions to the rule are situations where one has to say something and shouldn’t remain silent. What he utters here should lead to good, in the long run. The approach he takes however should be well measured and wisely though of, as possible. There may be many situations, but I could only think of four. They are:

• Parenting
• Education
• When one’s honest opinion/advice is sought
• During brainstorming for ideas

Parenting

The Prophet The Father, salla Allahu ‘alaihi wasallam, once told a child who was sharing a plate with him that:

يَا غُلام! سَمِّ اللَّهَ، وَكُلْ بِيَمِينِكَ، وَكُلْ مِمَّا يَلِيكَ

It means, “O young man! Mention the Name of Allah, eat with your right hand and eat from what is close to you.”

He also urged parents to teach their children to pray from the age of seven, and to take disciplinary action against them, if they refuse to, when they turn ten years. This is understood from the Hadeeth narrated by Imam Abu Dawud, authenticated by Shaikh Al-Albany, which says:

مُرُوا أَوْلادَكُمْ بِالصَّلاةِ وَهُمْ أَبْنَاءُ سَبْعِ سِنِينَ، وَاضْرِبُوهُمْ عَلَيْهَا وَهُمْ أَبْنَاءُ عَشْرٍ

It means, “Instruct your children to establish Solat, when they are seven years old, and discipline them for it, when they are ten years old.”

Most parents, today, only do and say what please their children, regardless of the long-term effect of such actions on the intellectual, spiritual, moral and social development of the children.

In the case of the Prophet with first child (who was told to eat with his right hand), when the child failed to learn from the way the Prophet was eating, the Prophet had to tell him what to do. Who wants to be told what and how to do things? Silence therefore wasn’t appropriate here.

In the second scenario, when a child is told what to do and he refuses, appropriate action must be taken to ensure he understands his responsibility as an individual in the family and in the society, and most importantly in the Sight of Allah.

Education

Abu Daud reported a Hadeeth in which Abdullah Ibn Amer relates that the The Prophet, salla Allahu ‘alaihi wasallam, was once in a visit their when he was a child. His mother called him in while the Prophet was still present, with her palm closed, and said, “come and I’ll give you.” The Prophet asked her, “What are you going to give him?” She said, “I’m going to give him a date.” The Prophet then said:

أَمَا إِنَّكِ لَوْ لَمْ تُعْطِهِ شَيْئًا كُتِبَتْ عَلَيْكِ كِذْبَةٌ

It means, “If you gave him nothing, it would have been written as a lie against you.”

The moral of the story is, any other adult will feel offended if told what the Prophet has said Abdullah Ibn Amer’s mom. As a result, some may prefer to remain silent. But the Prophet had a message to send across, and that was the best way he could send it.

There would have been no harm if the Prophet said nothing to the woman. But what he said was ultimately good, although it can be perceived as harsh or offensive.

When one’s honest opinion/advice is sought

The Prophet, salla Allahu ‘alaihi wasallam, mentioned six rights of the Muslim over his Muslim brother, among them he said (in a Hadeeth narrated by Abu Hurairah, radhiya Allahu ‘anhu):

وَإِذَا اسْتَنْصَحَكَ فَانْصَحْ لَهُ

It means, “If he seeks your advice, lend him your advice.”

When someone trusts you, and comes to you seeking your opinion or advice, he has chosen you over others because although he wants you tell him what he wants to hear, he’s also prepared to hear the ‘not so good’ thing from you, rather than from anyone else. If you really have to tell him the bitter truth, don’t hide it.

During brainstorming for ideas

During brainstorming for ideas in teamwork, everyone comes out with the best in his mind. Meanwhile, what I may find to be the best of my ideas may seem the silliest to you. What you may think is the best of your ideas may be seen the opposite to another person in the team.

That’s why there is no right or wrong idea in brainstorming. In other words, there are no wrong ideas in brainstorming.

Only after all possible ideas are gathered, we can sort them, match them, keep the most relevant and put aside the irrelevant, for another project or purposes.

After all, in Islam, when issue pertain others emerge, brainstorming (shura) becomes vital.

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Conclusion

This is a simple 2014 goal, among others, which I'm determined to achieve. As much as I'm aware of the challenges I have to face in attaining it, I perceive greater benefit from it, insha Allah.

You too may find it useful. If you do, this is an invitation for you to join me in working towards it. You may have a different or even a better plan. If you do, it's always good to set targets for our lives.

“It’s easy said than done.” This is what we always claim. That has, as a result, caused us much failure and unproductive times. It’s easy planned than implemented. That’s another truth. But with a simple plan, implementation becomes a matter of whether one wants or not. “A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.” This goal, if achieved, is going to be a lifetime investment on the spiritual wellbeing of the believer.

Do you mind sharing with us, one of your goals for 2014? We would love to hear from you, in the comments area below. Let’s inspire one another.

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Allahu Hafiz 🙂

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