Ramadan Q&A: Intercourse While Fasting, Out of Forgetfulness

Ramaḍān Q&A

Question:

What is the ruling pertaining to a man, who forgets and engages in an intercourse with his wife in a day during Ramadan?

Answer:

Alhamdulillah… All thanks and praises are due to the Almighty Allah. I send peace and blessings upon Habibi Muhammad, his household, companions and all those who follow his guided path till judgement day.

We all know that, in Islam, fasting requires from the Muslim to refrain from food and water as well as sexual intercourse, from dawn (fajr) till sunset (maghrib). However, due to our human nature, it happens that one forgets and eats, drinks, or even engages in intercourse. It’s therefore not strange, and should not be strange, to hear that someone, while fasting, has forgotten and ate, drunk or even had an intercourse.

It’s because of this human nature of ours, that Allah, subḥanahu wa ta‘ālā, has taught us in the last verse of Sūrah al-Baqarah, to invoke Him and say:

رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذْنَا إِن نَّسِينَا أَوْ أَخْطَأْنَا، رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحْمِلْ عَلَيْنَا إِصْرًا كَمَا حَمَلْتَهُ عَلَى الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِنَا، رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلْنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِ، وَاعْفُ عَنَّا وَاغْفِرْ لَنَا وَارْحَمْنَا

“Our Lord, do not take us to task if we forget or make a mistake! Our Lord, do not place on us a burden like the one You placed on those before us! Our Lord, do not place on us a burden we have not the strength to bear! Pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy on us.”

This being said, having a sexual intercourse in a daytime during Ramaḍān could be either deliberately (intentionally) or a mistake out to forgetfulness (or being forced into it) and ignorance. The following sections provide Islamic rulings pertaining to both instances.

Engaging in Intercourse Deliberately in a Daytime During Ramaḍān

If the intercourse happens deliberately, the ‘offender’ has to (1) complete his fast for the day (not to eat until sunset), (2) repent, (3) make up for the day has broken its fast, and (4) offer a severe reparation (kaffārah) by following the following sequence:

He frees a Muslim slave from slavery. If he can’t afford to that, then
He fasts two consecutive months. If he can’t afford to do that, then
He feeds 60 poor people with the average meal of the people of his town. If he can’t afford, then
It remains upon him until he affords to feed 60 poor people.

It’s importanct to note, that he can’t jump the sequence of the kaffārah given above (i.e., from 1 to 3) unless he can’t afford it. This is based on the hadīth reported by Imām al-Bukhārī from the narration of Sayyidinā Abū Hurairah, raḍiya Allāhu ‘anhu, that:

جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَقَالَ: هَلَكْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ. قَالَ: وَمَا أَهْلَكَكَ؟ قَالَ: وَقَعْتُ عَلَى امْرَأَتِي فِي رَمَضَانَ. قَالَ: هَلْ تَجِدُ مَا تُعْتِقُ رَقَبَةً؟ قَالَ: لا. قَالَ: فَهَلْ تَسْتَطِيعُ أَنْ تَصُومَ شَهْرَيْنِ مُتَتَابِعَيْنِ؟ قَالَ: لا. قَالَ: فَهَلْ تَجِدُ مَا تُطْعِمُ سِتِّينَ مِسْكِينًا؟ قَالَ: لا …

“A man came to the Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ‘alaihi wa sallam and said, “I am doomed, O Messenger of Allah!” He said, “Why are you doomed?” He said, “I had intercourse with my wife (during the day) in Ramaḍān.” He said, “Can you free a slave?” He said, “No.” He said, “Can you fast for two consecutive months?” He said, “No.” He said, “Can you feed sixty poor persons?” He said, “No.”…”

Engaging in Intercourse Forgetfully in a Daytime During Ramaḍān

If the intercourse took place mistakenly out of the offender’s forgetfulness (or he’s been forced into it) or due to his ignorance, there are two scholarly opinions with this regard.

The first opinion opines that he needs to do the following two thing together:

Complete his fast for the rest of the day; and
Make up for the day later on (after Ramaḍan, of course!)

This is based on the hadīth of the Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ‘alaihi wa sallam, which was reported by Imām Ibn Mājah and Al-Bayhaqī, from the narration of Sayyidina ‘Abdillah ibn ‘Abbās raḍiya Allāhu ‘anhumā, the Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ‘alaihi wa sallam said:

إِنَّ اللهَ تَجَاوَزَ عَنْ أُمَّتِي الخَطَأَ وَالنِّسْيَانَ وَمَا اسْتُكْرِهُوا عَلَيْهِ

“My Ummah is forgiven for its non-deliberate mistake and forgetfulness, and for what they have been forced into.”

In a more lenient opinion, also based on the above ḥadīth, some scholars have opined that the one who engages in an intercourse in a daytime during Ramaḍān due to forgetfulness or ignorance does not have to make up for the day after Ramaḍān. All he has to do is to complete his fast for the day, and take his holy bath of Janābah (ghusl) and his fast remains valid.

This opinion is supported by the hadīth of Imām al-Bukhārī and Muslim from the narration of Sayyidinā Abī Hurairah raḍiya Allāhu ‘anhu, that the Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ‘alaihi wa sallam said:

إِذَا نَسِيَ أَحَدُكُمْ ، فَأكَلَ ، أَوْ شَرِبَ ، فَلْيُتِمَّ صَوْمَهُ ، فَإنَّمَا أطْعَمَهُ اللهُ وَسَقَاهُ

“If one of you forgets (that he is fasting) and eats or drinks, let him complete his fast, for it is Allah Who fed him and gave him to drink.”

Some readers may need to know that, taking ghusl is not part of process of settling one’s status after involving in this ramaḍān-related mistake. It’s rather to enable him to pray and carry out his other related religious obligations.

What If He Remembers in the Middle of the Intercourse?

If the one who engages in sexual intercourse in a daytime during Ramaḍān out of forgetfulness remembers that he’s fasting while in the middle of the intercourse, he’s required to pull out immediately. If he continues, for whatever thoughts, it become a deliberate, and the ruling imposed on the one who does it deliberately will be applicable to him.

It’s worth indicating here, that intercourse is regarded as such, when the two circumcised body parts meet, and the tip of the penis disappears in either of the two passages (vagina or anus), whether the man ejaculates or not. In normal circumstances, intercourse is allowed between lawfully married couples when the penis disappears in the vagina. Intercourse is ḥarām (prohibited) when the penis is inserted (disappears) in the anus, even if it’s between lawfully married couples. And even if it happens outside Ramaḍān or after breaking the fast of Ramaḍān (at night).

One last thing. When it comes to deliberateness and forgetfulness or ignorance. One can claim any of it. Rulings are made based what the ‘offender’ presents or claims. In the end, Allah will judge him and grant him rewards, or subject him to forgiveness or punishment based on his heart, which it’s only He who knows what are hidden in there.

Therefore, while one of the (two) parties involved in the intercourse could be forgetful or ignorant, the other is likely to be well-informed or pretentious, unless he or she is forced into it. If he or she remains silent and willingly cooperates in the making, then the ruling of deliberate intercourse is applicable to him or her. But if both are absolutely ignorant about it or totally ‘forgetful’ about it, then the rules are as indicated above, insha Allah.

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Until our next article, I leave you in Allah’s protection.

Allah knows best.
Allahu Hafiz 🙂