Alḥamdulillāh… Perfect praise and thanks are due to the Almighty Allah who rewards people of true, genuine and sincere sacrifice. Complete peace and blessings go to Sayyidunā Muhammad, who taught us the best ways to sacrifice and attain everlasting happiness, also to his household, companions and all those who follow his guided path.
In life, every moment requires a sacrifice. You have sacrificed your time to read this article. If not, you would be doing something else, regardless of its real value. This article discusses the concept of sacrifice and how to put it into perspective for the Muslim and for anyone who aims for everlasting happiness.
If you’re reading this line, I’m inviting you to share your thoughts after reading the article. Do tell me how you find it beneficial, where you agree or disagree and don’t forget to leave your suggestions and feedback.
Moving on, let’s, first seek to understand ‘sacrifice.’ What is sacrifice?
Putting Sacrifice into Perspective
It’s important to have a proper understanding of the meaning of sacrifice. This helps us to be objective when we decide to make some sacrifice, failure to which could lead to great disappointments, which have even greater emotional implications.
According to the Oxford Dictionary of English, there are a few meanings for sacrifice. Two of them are relevant to our discussion.
The first is to “give up something valued for the sake of something else more important or worthy. The other meaning is any “act of slaughtering an animal or person or surrendering a possession as an offering to a deity.”
In the case of Muslims with true and pure Islamic belief, the only deity, for whom one can offer sacrifice is the One God, the Creator.
When one sacrifices basing on the first meaning, it may lead to attaining God’s recognition and pleasure. But when he sacrifices based on the second, then God’s recognition is greatly taking into consideration.
It’s strange, that many of us perceive the need for sacrifice only when there’s a religious command or decree. But by right, every moment, every act of the believer is supposed to be a sacrifice for God. This includes his time for sleeping and food consumption.
قُلْ إِنَّ صَلَاتِي وَنُسُكِي وَمَحْيَايَ وَمَمَاتِي لِلَّـهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ * لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ، وَبِذَٰلِكَ أُمِرْتُ وَأَنَا أَوَّلُ الْمُسْلِمِينَ
“Say, “Indeed, my prayer, my rituals, my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of the worlds. No partner has He. And this I have been commanded, and I am the first [among you] of the Muslims” [Sūrah Al-An’ām, 6:162-163].
How Do We Sacrifice?
People sacrifice in many different forms. We sacrifice our comfort to be with the people we love and sometimes, the people we are not so comfortable to be with. Thus, you see a man or a woman from a wealthy family who abandons the comfort of his or her family to marry and stay with a person from a poor family, who leads a poor life, and sometimes a miserable one.
At the family level, we sacrifice for our children's future. Thus, you see a mother leaving her career to stay at home, just to ensure her children have the attention they need, so to be emotionally and physically sound for a successful future.
Similarly, we sacrifice for our spouses. That's why you find a spouse who supports his or her spouse with all his or her wealth, to see him or her successful, without having the confirmation that he or she will be able to pay back in an expected way.
On the same reverse –not for paying back, we sacrifice for our parents. Some children forgo their dream careers and embark on the dreams that their ambitious parents always wanted them to be in, simply because the parents themselves were probably not able to succeed in that particular career. Although the child is not happy with his new career, he fights his emotions every other day, just to see his parents happy.
Socially, we sacrifice our time to attend weddings, child naming ceremonies, funerals, and other social events. When one does this basing on the first meaning of sacrifice, he attends with the expectation of a favour in return. That’s; “I expect you to grace my future event as pay back.” But when he does it basing on the second meaning of sacrifice, it matters not, whether the person, for whose event he’s attending is able to make it in future or not.
For Whom Do We Sacrifice?
This is the most important element of sacrifice: the one for whom you sacrifice. Although it’s the most important element, it's the one we give the least attention when deciding to offer sacrifice.
When you decide to sacrifice your time, money, energy, in fact, yourself for someone else–be it your child, parent, spouse, friend, a neighbour or even an absolute stranger–so to see him happy and successful, be it in his career or education or other needs, you have to decide why you are sacrificing for him or her. This decision may be consciously or subconsciously.
Usually, we do it with the expectation of a favour in return. This is fine. And it should be the case. But from whom do we expect that favour in return?
In other words, are you clear why you’re sacrificing for the person? If you expect a payback in return from him, you should decide and be clear about it. If, on the other hand, you are just helping and have no expectations from him or her, then you should also be clear there. This clarity is between you and yourself. And this is where act of worship falls in place.
The Prophet, ṣallā Allāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said in a ḥadīth reported by Imām al-Bukhārī and Muslim from the narration of Sayyidunā ‘Umar ibn Al-Khaṭṭāb, raḍiya Allahu' anhu:
إِنَّمَا الأَعْمَالُ بِالنِّيَّاتِ، وَإِنَّمَا لِكُلِّ امْرِئٍ مَا نَوَى
“Deeds are [rewarded] according to their intentions, and a person will be rewarded according to his intention.”
You may decide to sacrifice for your loved one's success, with the expectation that he or she will come back to take care of you, in your times of need. You may. But you can't take for granted that your expectations will be fulfilled. Your beneficiary may be back to fulfill your expectations. He or she may also not. This human. You can't take man for granted.
As much as it is good to be kind to fellow humans, it is also important to not put hope and hopes on them. Thus, you don’t get over excited when they come back to you. Likewise, you won't be very disappointed when they don't come back. At all.
However, when you sacrifice for someone without any expectation from him, then you should put your expectation in God. By doing so, you are not only making the right decision, you are also being genuine and sincere. And for all you know, there is no way God will betray or disappoint you. God will always pay you handsomely. He will reward you abundantly. In a way you never expect. How? In a way you least or never expect.
إِنَّمَا نُطْعِمُكُمْ لِوَجْهِ ٱللَّـهِ لَا نُرِيدُ مِنكُمْ جَزَآءً وَلَا شُكُورًا ﴿٩﴾ إِنَّا نَخَافُ مِن رَّبِّنَا يَوْمًا عَبُوسًا قَمْطَرِيرًا ﴿١٠﴾ فَوَقَىٰهُمُ ٱللَّـهُ شَرَّ ذَٰلِكَ ٱلْيَوْمِ وَلَقَّىٰهُمْ نَضْرَةً وَسُرُورًا ﴿١١﴾ وَجَزَىٰهُم بِمَا صَبَرُوا۟ جَنَّةً وَحَرِيرًا ﴿١٢﴾ـ
“We feed you for the sake of God alone, we seek neither recompense nor thanks from you. (9) Truly, we fear from our Lord a woefully grim Day.” (10) Therefore, God will ward off from them the woes of that Day, and make them find brightness and joy, (11) and their reward for being patient will be a Garden and silk [clothing]” (Sūrah al-Insān, 76:9).
What Does That Mean?
When you sacrifice with the expectation of reward from your fellow human, then your rewards will not be but humanly. The best return you will get from a fellow human being for some kindness you once showed him can’t be beyond what human get ever afford. However, if you sacrifice with the expectation of rewards from the Almighty God, your rewards shall not be but heavenly.
If you are able to achieve that, a day will not come when you will say to your parent, child, spouse or friend that, “I have sacrificed for you that much, and this is what you do to me?” It's expected from any beneficiary to be human enough to know how to be grateful to whoever has ever lent him or her a helping hand. But expressing your disappointment for his or her failure to meet your expectations nullifies all your good deeds. But getting the correct objective in place, in the first place will never render you heartbroken.
Conclusion
As human beings, out existence in life, both in the First Part of Life and It’s Second Part, is not for fun. It’s rather for a great purpose. With that in mind, you realize that every sacrifice you make must be with an expectation. But the wise sets his expectations from God alone. And that’s true and everlasting happiness.
This article focuses on the etiquettes of making sacrifices for the people you love. And even for absolute strangers. The focus not on how a beneficiary should be grateful, appreciative and give back, if not to whom who once helped him, then to the community. This is discussed in another article titled, Appreciation and Gratefulness. You may want to give it a read here.
May we be people of sacrifice who only expect our reward from the Almighty Allah. May He strengthen our faiths, and make us true servants of His, and grant us good endings. Āmīn!
If you’ve read up to this point, then let me emphasize it that I’ll very much appreciate it, if you will share your thoughts after having read the article. Do tell me how you find it beneficial, where you agree or disagree and don’t forget to leave your suggestions and feedback.
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Allah knows best.
Allahu Hafiz 🙂
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